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Complications of Hypocrisy by =osyris:iconosyris:





So, as the trumpets sounds, they stand up tall
Today, they think they’ll rise up from the wall
Those are the people who believe they’re kings
Exempt from punishment, by which sin brings

They all are dreaming out one great big lie
And when they wake up, they will all soon die
Yet in their ignorance, one truth be shown
That death is coming and of this, they’ve known

For in the morning everyone will feast
But by the end they all will call a priest
“Forgive me, Father, for I am not well!”
All plead to him because they’re bound for Hell

Be very weary or you will not see
The complications of hypocrisy
A combination of a blinding light
Illuminating all the hate and blight
©2005-2009 =osyris
:iconosyris:

Author's Comments

Umm, I guess if I were to write music to it, this would have a uptemp, slightly happy feel to it. It's a basic, general story about a group of unamed people who think way too highly of themselves and what will ultimitly happens to them. It's just my take on the subect.

Comments


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:icondark-lilith:
very cool. I really like this one! ^_^

--
If you thought I was even mildly amusing, check out this: [link] I am totally pimping the podcast :D

"I hurt myself today to see if I still feel... and I will make you hurt"
:iconbiccy:
ooo *claps* wonderful ^_^

--
If you love something let it go.
If it doesn't come back...
Hunt it down and kill it.
:iconkerahatespenguins:
wow..that was beautiful....

--
Because there's beauty in the breakdown
:iconosyris:
Thank you. :)

--
Sorry to birst your bubble, but I'm a poet; I don't draw.

What defines right and wrong is the reason behind them.

If you got a simple comment, just remember that everyone else got one, too.
:icondaji15:
Oh, not bad at all! :thumbsup:
:icongigglingtot:
interesting. the rhyme seems forced though, and that kind of upsets the flow. i think, perhaps, if there was less focus on making a rhyme, this would have more of an impact. because there is a lot of tell here. like... you mention how sin brings punishment. and while those lines all fit together in that stanza, there's more that could be added. what other things do they assume because of their... ego, i guess is the best way to put it? yes, most of us know people like this- they won't get in trouble because they know the system, or know people in the system. just feels like there could be a little more exploring

typos:
"And [when] they wake up, they will all soon die"
"But by the end [they] all will call a priest"
"All [plead] to him because they’re bound for Hell"

not that bad, honestly. quite enjoyable :D

--
"only when the last tree has died, and the last river been poisoned, and the last fish been caught will we realize that we can't eat money." based on a Cree saying
:iconosyris:
This is why I always leave comments open. Thank you. It's amazing how I did not reconize them until someone else points them out. But that's why I always have an open ear. I do admit that for some of this, I did have to pound out a few things. I problem I've found with poetry is that if one does not know what beat is being used, things that may sound right to the person may not sound right to everyone else because of a difference in prespective and context. However, there are times when something is amiss and the poet cannot hear it. To me, I had to make a balance between flow and rhyme. For better or worse, I think I've done my best. I do thank you, again, for enjoying my work dispite what flaws may exist. I shall now update the spelling errors.

--
Sorry to birst your bubble, but I'm a poet; I don't draw.

Viva li Pope John-Paul II!

If you got a simple comment, just remember that everyone else got one, too.

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March 29, 2005
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