I’m glad I think suicide is dumb
‘Cause I’m beginning to see why certain people choose it.
But life calls me too much
To waste it on such a selfish act.

Not that being selfish is wrong
It’s when you’re a self-centered greedy bastard that bites.
No, I desire life like an addict
Though sometimes it burns me… bad.

If I could observe the rest of eternity
If only as an observer freed from the shackles of time.
I would be content and happy
Or so I would hope.

With all my logic and insight
Everything that helps me be more than a mere man.
Or at least gives me the illusion
Sometimes I hate being human…

Emotions suck.

Emotions suck because they break you
As if you were nothing but a toy to a greater power.
Well, in this regard I really am
Slave to the deterministic chemistry.

You wanna know what really sucks?
Making a choice that hurts yourself and someone else.
Not that I truly care about me
I just hate it when I fail myself.

Take for example, a moment of luck
That you, in hindsight, find likely what is your dream.
You make excuses not to take it
Only later to discover your vexing error.

But your lies helps things
Until you finally spill the truth and break the illusion.
Then all the hurt explodes
And again you are to blame.

It’s not like I care about me
While it sucks, I deserve all the pain I endure.
But when you hurt someone else
Someone special, you’re a sorry excuse.

I suck.

I suck because I am
I am the only one who can make myself pay up.
Yet what’s the point?
The emotions are wasted.

Emo, I bet you’re thinking
No, I’m not the kid who pines of the elementary love.
Once good friends but not
Not something more wanted.

I am not trendy Goth
Nor a bleeding heart begging forgiveness for sins.
Just a normal man
Nothing more, nothing special.

Maybe that explains it
Maybe I’m not the better of my sheepish peers.
I cause drama and grief
But I also make a difference.

But what becomes of it?
Hitler made a difference; John-Paul II did, too.
I can do very much right
And be very much wrong.

I am human in the end
I am flawed and frail and fail and folly and…
Yet I am worth hearing
If only as another warning.

What sucks?

Being in a reality such as this
Where you are only as mortal as everyone else is.
When your words are petty
Just like everything else you do.

Where is the worth then?
Inside your head and in those of others who “care”.
Reality is what you make
And what others make, too.

Like when you try to be friends
Though you want to become her lover and more.
But she wants the bad-boy
Even though she hates them all.

You try to get it out
That feeling of lust, and infatuation, and love, or something.
Yet you only fall down
Going against your own advice.

Consolation prize, always second
The failure only has your name to place all the blame.
‘Cause you never matured
Enough to become a true man.

Wasted youth, wasted dreams
Yet in the end you will recover and discovery the truth.
How trifle emotions are
In the end, you will become whole.

Until then, you feel dejected
I am a product of my choices, always taking the safe way.
Only to expose later on
How all of it was for not.

Life sucks…